Tag Archive for Five miles

Farted on while running

Ferking heck… today I had the most disgusting thing that has ever happened to me happen on a run.

Now I’ve had some pretty dodgy things go on over the year… I’ve seen down the cracks of builders, almost crapped myself and had one woman pull her pants down and just start weeing, but today took the real biscuit.

As I rounded a corner, somewhere around Furzedown, the posh bit between Streatham and Tooting, I came up just behind a woman. She was maybe mid-30s, not petite but not huge either and, I’m guessing and trying not to stereotype, possibly of African origin, given the bright coloured and patteterned clothing she was wearing.

Anyway, thanks to the traffic, the poor love obviously never heard me coming, because just as I rounded the corner and came up behind her, she let out the most massive fart I have ever heard in my life.

For the next quarter  mile or so, I could almost chew it, it was that loud and stinky…

Click here for a link to Garmin Connect for a map and details of the run

Miles today: 5
Target: 1005
Miles to date: 1,389.9

Please donate to my chosen charities by clicking here

Day 333

Click here for a link to Garmin Connect for a map and details of the run

Miles today: 5.76
Target: 999
Miles to date: 1,380.91

Please donate to my chosen charities by clicking here

The day after the day after long run…

… is always the hardest.
Despite taking it easy yesterday and only running three miles after running 13 miles on Sunday, today I was aching like heck.

In fact, the whole thing is turning into GroundHog Day. Like the last time I trained for a marathon back in the winter, I seem to do a long run on Sunday, spend most of the week complaining about the pain and then lose the pain just before the next long run…

Click here for a link to Garmin Connect for a map and details of the run

Miles today: 5.1
Target: 996
Miles to date: 1,375.15

Please donate to my chosen charities by clicking here

1,350 miles

Not really that much to say today… thanks to my being ridiculously busy with DIY stuff around the house.

The arrival of the twins means we’re having loads of work done in a rush before they get here and while we’ve had workmen in to fit new windows and stuff, I’ve been doing little tarting up jobs like changing door handles and stuff…

Nonetheless, today saw me rack up mile 1350, somewhere in deepest Norbury

Click here for a link to Garmin Connect for a map and details of the run

Miles today: 5
Target: 987
Miles to date: 1,353.85

Please donate to my chosen charities by clicking here

I've ran the length of the Humber Bridge three times a day – and other stats

Back to (an achey) five miles this morning on my normal circuitous route around Streatham and not one thing of interest happened on the way and not one bit of inspiration comes on what to write!

The solution? Revert to a stats round up to fill in some blog space. So…

I have now been running for 327 days – the same length as the 1948 Soviet blockade of Berlin and the reign of Edward VIII who abdicated the British crown in favour of his lover Wallis Simpson in 1936.

I have covered 1,343.75 miles. According to Google, it is the equivalent of travelling from Auburn in Maine to Sarasota in Florida, almost the length of the US’s Eastern Seaboard.

I prefer using the brilliant www.sizeofwales.co.uk that allows you to input any data and find a comparison that is easier for people to visualise (it’s a great tool if you are a newspaper sub editor).

According to them, I have ran 225,134 times the length of a London Double Decker, gone 11 times round the M25 (who thought it was so long?) or a tenth of the Great Wall of China!

It’s an average of 4.1 miles a day (or the equivalent of running the Humber Bridge three times every day).

I run at an average pace of around nine minutes a mile… I have been running for 12,000 minutes or 200 hours. If it takes 5minutes to medium boil an egg, I could have boiled 2,400 one after the other – eat your heart out Cool hand Luke.

My average training heartbeat is 140bpm so my heart has thumped a whopping 1.6million times on runs.

Click here for a link to Garmin Connect for a map and details of the run

Miles today: 5
Target: 981
Miles to date: 1,343.75

Please donate to my chosen charities by clicking here

Like a drowned rat

Day 325 today… just 39 more to go and I am truly getting to the stage where I cannot wait.

This morning, I was working at The Express and had arranged to meet the deputy travel editor and my pal Duncan Craig there to go for a run. I’ve mentioned Duncan before, he’s the kind of bloke who does the Marathon De Sables for fun.

We’d arranged to meet at their offices at round 8am to give us time to get out, have a shower and get back in time to start work. By the time  I arrived I’d already got a text from him saying he was running late as it was truly pissing it down with vertical rain all across London.

Keen to crack on and not wait around to be shown up by him, I texted back saying I would get on with the run and see him back in the office.

Running around The Express office, which is near Monument tube is pretty cool. You can leave their building, round the Tower of London, run through St Katherine’s Dock and into Wappng before heading back and crossing the Thames over Tower Bridge.

From there it’s a straight run along the South Bank before crossing over the river again on London Bridge.

By the time I got back, I was drenched through to the skin but the weather was easing up enough for Dunc to head out in the dry… some guys have all the luck.

Click here for a link to Garmin Connect for a map and details of the run

Miles today: 5
Target: 975
Miles to date: 1,335.75

Please donate to my chosen charities by clicking here

First rule of running club fails… and a new ailment

A particularly bad run this morning where for the first time ever, the First Rule of Running Club failed.

For those of you who have missed any related posts, the First Rule of Running Club was devised by my pal David. The First Rule of Running Club dictates that you must got for a number two before going on a run… the theory is that if you don’t, you’ll want to half way through the run.

Well I followed the first rule and I still wanted to go half way through the run – which made for a particularly uncomfortable second half of the run.

The strange pain in the bottom of my left foot was also playing on my mind. With every step, I get a small stabbing pain coming up in the area just before my toes… it’s not unbearable but not pleasant either.

So this evening, I decided to venture back to my running heroine, Lillian, the sports maseuse at the Virgin Active gym in Streatham. She gave me a good going over, releasing some of the pressure on my aching muscles and in particular the adductors (the ones on the inside of your thigh). But she also found what is wrong with my foot – apparently, I’ve a little bit of tendonitis and I could feel it clicking as she tried to massage it away.

Click here for a link to Garmin Connect for a map and details of the run

Miles today: 5
Target: 972
Miles to date: 1,330.75

Please donate to my chosen charities by clicking here

PB over five miles

Despite having spent the week moaning about feeling tired and the number of niggles I’m getting, I actually woke up this morning feeling full of beans.

It could have had something to do with the fact that I woke up and, instead of going straight out, waited a while until I woke up, had a cup of tea, a banana and, crucially, some ibuprofen…

The result? I went out on my flattest route, just down London Road and back and ended up doing my best non-race time over five miles… just over 40 minutes.

Yesterday evening, I came back from work to find my Registrar of Exercise Professionals card had come through – the first step on the journey to my PT qualification – meaning I can officially practice as a gym instructor now.

Mum’s been over from Greece for a couple of weeks and moaning about not feeling fit enough, so I put together a little program for her and took her out onto Streatham Common after the run to put her through her paces. My first training client, albeit non-paid

Click here for a link to Garmin Connect for a map and details of the run

Miles today: 5
Target: 966
Miles to date: 1,321.25

Please donate to my chosen charities by clicking here

Another day, another niggle

I’m battered today… up early, doing some work, off for a run and then into The Express where it was press day and I didn’t get out until past 7pm…

For some reason, on the Tube into work, I started sneezing… no rhyme nor reason, but I could not stop. And I still haven’t stopped more than 12 hours after first one. I reckon I must have done in excess of 100 sneezes and been through a whole box of Kleenex, but I don’t feel ill. Quite bizarre, unless I have got hayfever for the first time in my life.

The good thing is, it at least has taken my mind off another annoying niggle that has cropped up from nowhere. On my left foot, just before the toes, there’s a small stabbing pain that sends just a little jolt up my leg with every step I take. Again, no idea what it is, but it shouldn’t stop me running.

Click here for a link to Garmin Connect for a map and details of the run

Miles today: 5
Target: 963
Miles to date: 1,316.25

Please donate to my chosen charities by clicking here

Slowing right back down

With everything creaking today, all I could do was slow riiiiiiight down in an effort to put as little pressure on my body as possible.

I also set off earlier, going out just after 6am to give me time for a good cool down before heading into The Sun for a shift today.

Click here for a link to Garmin Connect for a map and details of the run

Miles today: 5.2
Target: 960
Miles to date: 1,311.25

Please donate to my chosen charities by clicking here